Thursday, October 15, 2009


of a mother of a ONE YEAR OLD.

On October 7th, and then again on the 10th, we celebrated K's 1st birthday. What a milestone. She's one; we made it through the first year. Cheers to all of us...

When I found out I was pregnant in January of 2008, I was in shock. I wasn't ready to be a mum. I had just started working on my PhD; I had comprehensive exam to take; I wanted to run the NYC marathon; I didn't want to be pregnant in DC during the summer. My list of excuses was a mile long. I wasn't ready...or so I thought. The night before I actually confirmed I was pregnant, I sat at home alone and decided I wasn't going to sleep until I was *ok* with the idea of becoming a mum. Somehow I found some peace deep down and went to sleep.

Looking back at how c-r-a-z-y I was that night (and the following when I finally bought a pregnancy test and told D he was to be a papa), I can now laugh. If I only knew then what I know now...

I love being a mum. The timing of K's birth was perfect. I cannot imagine or remember my life without her. Watching her grow over the course of this first year has been nothing short of miraculous. Watching D with his baby girl brings a smile to my face. I love her little hand inside of his and I love seeing him pick out outfits for her (personal fav - flare jeans, green flower top, and a hippy headband!). Watching my parents become grandparents is a hoot. K squeals going up the steps for days after my father leaves because he has chased her SO MANY times. And my mum, well, she's the best. Naming K after her was the best decision we could have made.

Being a parent is hard freaking work. Six hours of uninterrupted sleep is a blessing. Getting up at 5am to have some *me* time is hard (especially when it's so stinking dark outside). Trying to make decisions about food, sleep, discipline, hygiene, and daily routines is draining. And the endless amount of laundry is, well, endless.

But I love it.

And I love her.

One year ago...

And today... she's off on her own - curious about the world around her and extremely adventurous and independent.

What a difference in ONE YEAR.

She's mobile (not walking on her feet; only on her knees); she's verbal (no words; just lots of grunts, squeals, screams, and hand gestures); she's energetic (like the little bunny that keeps going and going and going - especially when the music is playing and she's in a dancing mood); she's temperamental (lots of pounding her hands and pulling on my pants); she's silly (lots of kissing noises, tongue twirling, laughing, mischievous glances); and she's just lovable (if you say 'can I have a hug?', you're likely to get one - sometimes with a big wet kiss).

A year ago I had no idea what I was doing. I had no idea how we'd adjust to being a family. I had no idea how to be a mum or I wanted to be a mum in the first place.

BUT I have learned to be a mum. And we have adjusted to being a family of three. Things have changed, but I passed my comps, am working on my dissertation, and am running the NYC marathon in two weeks! I'm overjoyed and couldn't imagine a better role than being a mother and wife.

A year ago I had no idea that I could fall so deeply in love with a little person. No idea that I could love my husband even more.

BUT I have. K, you are my pumpkin. My little angel. And such a joy. And D, I love you more today than I did yesterday. You're a great father and a kind husband.

A year ago, I would have never guessed that I'd be saying this...

I wouldn't change a thing. The timing of everything was just right (minus the being pregnant in DC over the summer!!). I am so humbled and overjoyed at being a mum and wife.

Happy birthday, little pumpkin. I love you.

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